Babe, It's Your Letter
by Alwaysgurl2013
Summary: Rick reads his letter from Kate. Prompted from a post on tumblr


As Kate watched the news playing on the laptop, Rick could feel the paper CSU had found sitting in his pocket. When Espo had handed the paper to him and told him that he might want to read this, he knew that it could only be one thing. Kate had written him a goodbye in case she had returned to him. Trying to decide whether he should read it or not was one of the hardest things he had to do. He couldn't picture himself ever living without her by his side, but he had almost lost her again. The amount of times he had come close to losing the woman he loved was growing to where he couldn't keep the count on one hand anymore. After glancing over his shoulder and seeing Kate staring in an almost statue-esque way at the computer, he knew that right now wasn't the time to read it, since he just wanted to hold her and know that she was alive and with him. So even as he feels the paper sitting in his pocket, he ignores the urge that he felt to pull it out and instead takes the wine to his Kate and sits with her as she talks through everything that scares her. Even though she doesn't say it aloud, he knows that they are both thinking the same thing- the next she comes face to face with Bracken, one of them is going to lose, and that terrifies Kate. So Rick does what he can for her by trying to help her erase the thoughts from her mind as they go to their room and try to get some sleep if that's at all possible after the day that they've had.

While Kate is in the bathroom brushing her teeth, Rick moves the note into his bedside table drawer. He knows that it's not the time to read it still, but he wants it in a safe place until that time. As he climbed into bed to wait for her, he kept thinking about what she said at the precinct. _"Babe, I wasn't alone. When they were interrogating me the only thing that kept me going was thinking about you."_ He smiled at the thought knowing that he was able to help her somewhat since he felt so dejected that there was nothing he could do to help her while she was missing.

Rick was pulled from his thoughts when he heard Kate walking in from their bathroom. The scratch of imperfection on her forehead and the darkness that was in her eyes were the only things in her perfect face that showed the signs of the traumatic events she had been through. Her hazel eyes found his blue eyes almost immediately and she crawled into his arms seconds after. Her arms quickly locked around his waist and his arms moved to encircle her. Rick knew Kate wasn't going to just fall apart and start crying like a little girl- that wasn't his Kate. But he did know that she wanted to know that he was here with her as much as he needed to know that she was safe in his arms.

There were little words that passed between them for the time between them climbing into bed to when Kate fell asleep. The little nothings that they shared with each other were nothing more than reminding each other how strong their love for each other was, but once Kate was sleeping with her head lying on his chest, he knew the time had come. He kept one hand resting on her back while the other pulled the drawer open slowly and lifted the note out of it's resting place. He slowly opened up the paper, undoing the creases Kate had put into it to hide it from her captors.

_"Dear Rick, I don't know how much time I have, even to write this letter. What I do know now, is that I'm in this and the only way I'm gonna make it out alive is to see this through. I'm sure everyone is looking for me and if they figure out I was here, CSU is gonna search this house. They're gonna look for blood and they will find it. Which will lead them to this letter. Babe, it's your letter and I hope you never have to read this and I can tell you all of these things in person. But if something happens and I don't make it, I need you to know that our partnership, our relationship is the greatest thing that has ever happened to me. You're an amazing man and I love you with all of my heart. Always."_

_Reading Kate's letter to him brought tears to her eyes. When she put pen to paper to write this confession to him, she hadn't known if she was going to make it through or not. Flashbacks to the night their relationship took flight came to his mind, __"I almost died and all I could think about was you."__ He knew that she loved him, but reading it, seeing it with their word, knowing that the last thing she wanted to get off her chest if something should happen to her was about them, made him the happiest man alive. However, the thought that he almost lost her again, set his tears free. He knew that she hadn't chosen the path they had been forced to travel down when she agreed to the undercover mission this morning, but couldn't keep the thought that she almost was taken from his life again from his mind. He had meant for Kate to never find out that he had the letter and had read it, but almost as if she could sense something wasn't right Kate's eyes opened slowly from sleep to see tears rolling down her fiancé's face._

_"Rick, what happened?" Kate asks as her hand reaches up to wipe tears away from his face. Then she saw it; the note she was hoping would have never come to light. "You read it?" She asked, already knowing the answer._

_"Yeah…" Rick says and Kate just looks at him for a moment, trying to comprehend what she could do to stop his tears, stop his pain._

_"I meant every word Rick. I love you so much." Kate says softly. Kate sees a small smile appear on his face before he replied softly._

_"I know you do." Rick takes a breath before continuing. "I almost lost you again. It may have taken me three times, but our relationship is one of the greatest things to ever happen to me." Kate smiles softly back at him. "I love you too. So much. But I can't imagine being able to live without you. And today, not knowing whether you were alive or not is one of the scariest things I have ever lived through."_

_"I'm not going anywhere Rick. And if I had known that it was going to become more than the 'in and out' mission I was first informed of, I never would have agreed to it. I will spend my whole life proving it to you if need be, but our relationship is worth more than any case."_

_"Kate, I believe you don't worry." His arm resting on her back runs lightly up and down her spine._

_"What is it Rick?" Kate asks, not being able to keep her curiosity to herself._

_"Do you want to talk about it? You went through a lot more than I did today," He says trying to let her know that he was here for her too. _

_"Not really, not tonight." Kate says, but she wanted to clear something up. "Rick, we both went through a tough experience. You're allowed to be hurting too."_

_"I know that, Kate, I just- It's just going to take some time- I can't…." He lets out a breath he didn't know he was holding on to. "Do you know how frustrating it is to be a writer and still not know how to phrase things?" _

_"I still love you even if you can't phrase your thoughts Babe." She smiles at him and he kisses her forehead._

_"Well good, you're going to be seeing it a lot in the future. I guess I just can't sound good unless it's on paper." He says with a smile and it that moment Kate knew that he was going to be ok in the long run._


End file.
